01 Jan Customize Your Inner Template
I have a friend. I’ll call him Ben. This wonderful friend of mine feels his purpose is to uplift others and to raise the vibration on the planet. Now, to me, having a purpose of this lofty caliber means that I am so full of peace, love, kindness, compassion, joy that I just want to share it with the world!!
But Ben watched the news, was hyper engaged on social media, noting all the sad, rage-filled, catastrophic events on the planet, posting or reposting them on FB and Twitter, pointing them out to anyone who will listen, telling then who is to blame for them so that others will see the truth of “what’s going on in the world” . . . in his mind, this somehow is going to uplift them.
Now, when he’s not raising the vibration on the planet, he’s a really fun guy!
I was curious about his early life, and as a therapist, it’s not ethical or if not ethical, it’s certainly not right to assume that someone has “has a problem”. It’s only a problem if it’s a problem for him.
So, I kept quiet until he asked for help with another issue and that opened the door.
What I discovered was before Ben was born, mom and dad for several years had both been missionaries in the jungles of South America just before he was born. The scenario sounded like something right out of the movie Avatar.
His parents never really recovered from their life of service there and guess what Ben learned from them. Life is a struggle, difficult, all corporations are greedy, all governments are corrupt, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
OUR PARENTS COLOR IN OUR TEMPLATE
Whether they knew it or not, his parents had created a template for him during those first few years, a life story that was completely antithetical to what he believes and I believe is his life’s purpose, because he’s soooo passionate about it, he just had the wrong template for it.
I suggested that instead of watching the news (you know that’s one of my favorite things to NOT do!) go hiking, take a walk down to the Verde River, and read something fun, you know UPLIFTING things. Ten I suggested a 3 week break from social media, believe me when you lay off of social media for any length of time, you won’t miss anything. it’s just like a soap opera, you can not watch it for 3 years, come back and never miss a beat. Well, maybe in that 3 years, Erica was married and divorced twice. But I digress.
You see, while Ben learned from his parents wonderful values such as living a life of service, he also learned that this life of service was difficult, frustrating, heartbreaking, sometimes dangerous and that there was nothing he could do to change it, and yet here he was trying to change it.
I think, for the most part, we all came here to discover our purpose which might consist of one or more categories such as Helping Others, Doing Good, Solving Problems, Enjoying Life, Raising a Family, with many subcategories within them.
I’m not talking about that global, end world hunger, stop human trafficking purpose, most of us just aren’t called to do that on that large of a scale, but there are many things we can do in our own way, in our own family, in our own community that can and will have a ripple effect in the world.
Sometimes we discover our purpose in our early childhood ALONG with a template that supports that purpose. Most times, we don’t and that’s why I believe it’s important today to talk about how we can change that template, how we can customize it to support our purpose.
When you’re happy, isn’t life just better, don’t you just naturally feel more alive, love, compassion, have more faith, have more fun, and fulfillment?
For those in my age group, your parents probably grew up during the depression and then lived through WW2, two of the very saddest and challenging times in history. No matter what generation you were born into, your life story began with the template your parents created. This is in no way meant to blame our parents. The grand design is for us to learn about life through the lens of our parents.
They customized our template and filled it in with their history, their values, their dreams, and their challenges . . . none of which were YOURS.
I don’t believe parents wake up one day and “I think I’ll just screw up this kid’s life”. I believe parents truly want their children to succeed, and to go further than they did, although some might have had a limited view of what success is.
As a parent myself, I love seeing my daughter, grandkids, and step-daughters, go beyond anything I could have imagined for them.
We are Born With all the Internal Resources We Need
In my own life, my work at CUL, and now in my private practice, I have come to know that we are born with every internal resource we need to be successful and happy in our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual lives.
We have resources like strength, courage, trust, abundance, faith and love, as part of our original framework, like sketches in a coloring book.
Then our parents began, mostly unintentionally, filing in our template, coloring in our coloring book.
When you think back, what was your take away? Did you learn what your prospects would be for relationships, finances, your social status, did you learn that you’re valuable and lovable and that you would have a fabulous life.
Were you born into christianity, mormonism, islam, paganism, atheism?
I can tell you one thing most of us learned was that it was NOT OK to daydream, especially during class. We were taught not to expect too much, “Don’t fill your head with silly dreams, we don’t want you to be disappointed when they don’t work out.”
BUT . . . WHAT IF THEY DID WORK OUT??
You see, in those early years, our parents filled in our coloring book with the only crayons they had access to. Red, yellow, blue, just 3, because that’s all they could see.
Then that little bubbly 5-6 years old you started doing outrageous things like mixing red and blue to get purple, yellow and blue to get green, then you got really wild and mixed yellow and red to get? Orange!
You were so excited and said, “Daddy, Daddy look what I did! Look at all the new colors I made” and Daddy replies, “don’t be silly, sweetie, those aren’t new, they’re still just red, yellow and blue”. And he convinces you that there’s only red, yellow, and blue because that’s all Daddy can see.
That template, or coloring book works for a while, until you start school and life’s experiences start conflicting what you’re taught. You feel confused, you start questioning, then as you get older, you questioned more, you started filling in your template with new knowledge from your own life experiences, but all of your underlying beliefs about how life fundamentally worked, was still just 3 colors.
The Universe has a plan for us, God has a plan . . .
AND! the beauty of this plan is that we can customize our template with anything we can imagine and yet the challenge of this plan is that many people won’t because they get stuck on red, yellow, and blue.
Some are thrust into filling in their coloring book with new colors, through job loss, divorce, death of spouse or partner, near death experience, empty nest.
Others just wake up one day and say to themselves, “I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna to quit my job, sell my home, take my savings, buy a sail boat and sail around the world, just me and Fido!”
6 months later, you quit your job, sell your home, buy a sailboat, learn how to . . . you know . . . sail, plot your course, load up your supplies, strap a set of water wings on Fido and off you go. People actually do that.
But you don’t have to go to that extreme.
Maybe you just want to re-define, re-discover, re-commit yourself to your own spiritual path, go on a month long retreat to India, walk “El Camino De Santiago”, or hike the entire 2,600 mile Pacific Crest Trail, it doesn’t matter, because it’s your spiritual path.
No matter what stage of life you’re in, you can re-design, to re-color, to re-invent and customize your life right now. And if you’re like me, you’ve had 50 or 60 years to make these changes, but the lessons we learned in those first few years held us back . . . until now.
So I’m going to tell you how I’ve done it. I’ll take you through a little process that you literally can use for anything in your life you wanna change.
Let’s just say you want to create your dream life consisting of vibrant Health, fulfilling Relationships and Career, abundant Finances, and meaningful Spirituality.
- The very first thing to acknowledge and to KNOW, is that you are part of something more, something bigger. That something, whatever name you call it, has the ability to over-ride anything in your existing paradigm that you or your parents have created.
- Next – decide what consists of your ideal life or even just one area of your life.
Do you want to improve your finances? What specifically? Do you want to start saving, do you want to make a boat load of money? Maybe you want to create a divine relationship. What does that mean to you?
- Then practice imagining – Remember what pretty much every one of our New Thought teachers have repeated. Our job is the WHAT. Spend more time getting crystal clear and FOCUSing on where you WANT to be rather than where you ARE. The Universe will orchestrate the HOW.
Now this isn’t about setting goals, it’s about making the decision to live your best life based on what YOU believe and what you desire. It’s simply making the decision to change and then taking steps to do it.
- Write Your Life Story – NO, not the one you’ve been telling for the past 30, 40, 50, years, write the story of the life you want to live. I listen to Peggy McColl, one of Bob Proctor’s Protege’s, and I’ve been using this process and strongly advocate for it in order to customize your inner template and color it with all the colors in your palette! Or put another way, changing your beliefs about what’s possible.
And remember the easiest way to change your beliefs? Change your behavior! EVEN if those behaviors begin in your mind. The unconscious mind, where all of your beliefs are stored, doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality. It responds to both.
Albert Einstein said it best.
“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.”
I have a sign in my apartment that says, “Now that your dream is fulfilled, how do you feel?”
When you’re crystal clear on what you see, hear, touch, taste, smell in your new story, feel what that feels like. The more emotion you put into your new Life Story the Universe will respond by putting people, places, coordinating events in your path that will turn that imagination into reality. It has to, it is law.
So, write your life story in the present tense, with as much emotion as you can evoke, as if you’re already living it.
Start off with something like, “I am so happy and grateful now that . . . .”
I start with “I am living the life of my dreams ” and I continue going through my imaginary day as if I am already living it. My ideal home, car, partner, work, vibrant health and play time. I can get so clear on it at times, I can actually smell the ocean, smell the creosote, hear the birds, see the colors of the sunset, smell that new car smell.
I’ve written mine out, edited it, recorded it, re-edited it, re-recorded it and every day I close my eyes, listen to it, and walk through my day in my mind, feeling what I feel every step of the way.
What would I feel if I right now walked outside this building, and saw my new Mercedes parked there?
So, what’s your dream, how would you feel?
Feel the fun, excitement, gratitude, satisfaction, anticipation, whatever the most intense feeling is that you can muster, then amp it up, amp it up, amp it up and hold it there as long as you can.
Start off with a short life story, one that changes one area of your life and I promise if you read it or better yet, listen to it multiple times every day, you’ll soon be adding more and more colors to it.
Mine is now about 23 minutes long and I listen several times a day. I’ve seen significant changes in me and my life since doing this. Most importantly, I’m just happier, knowing I have and am continuing to change my old worn out template that no longer supports my purpose.
Like most of my talks, these are practical steps you can use to make positive changes in any and all areas of your life, to help you find your WHAT, by using this play tool, expanding your crayon box, and staying focused on what you want. In doing so, you are lining up with God and the Universal energies and they WILL respond to your efforts by orchestrating the HOW, I promise. It’s a Universal Law.
There’s nothing more exhilarating than customizing your inner template to create the life you want to live. No matter where you want to be materially, emotionally, spiritually, don’t let red, yellow and blue be the only colors in your crayon box.
Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do, you’re more creative than you think you are, and more powerful than you realize. All you have to do is to re-claim your life and every day find more and more ways to customize your inner template!
Thank you, I’m Kimberly Kelley, Spiritual Director at the Center of Universal Light.