04 May Gettin’ in the Gap to Be Who You Want
Driving back and forth across the country 45-50 times over the past several years gave me a good perspective on driving and the behavior of drivers.
I watched drivers dodging in and out of traffic, people in front and back hitting their brakes, causing a slow down, a jam, or worse, and in a couple of cases, a wreck. Yes, there’s something about cross-country driving that provides many zen and reflective moments.
During one of those moments, I became aware that I hadn’t hit my brakes once in several hours. You know in those big motorhomes with big diesel fuel tanks, we could drive up to 400 or more miles without stopping to refuel.
So, on one particular trip, I realized how relaxed I was.
I really like that! Then I put my left brain to work to find out what was different about that trip. I drove at the speed of traffic, I didn’t have to “hurry up or wait” to pass a car or to change lanes . . . I was in the flow. I WAS in “Divine Timing”.
Once I became aware of it, I started practicing in other areas in my life, with my family, promoters, gigs.
You know, maybe it’s something you REALLY want to happen and people just aren’t doing what you want them to do, when you want them to do it. You get ticked off, impatient and you’re not willing to wait for the right moment, you want immediate gratification, and you try to force them to get it done, what do you get?
Frustration, anger, irritation, and then the “thing” you wanted to happen didn’t quite work out as you wanted it. Then you blame them for the debacle and they are not happy with you AT ALL. NOT Divine Timing.
What is Divine Timing? It’s the belief that everything that happens in your life occurs at precisely the right moment. It’s like straddling your surfboard in the water gently rising up and down, and suddenly you get that familiar feeling. So, you lay down on your board, paddle towards the surf break, and as the wave swells you crouch, then stand up on your board at just the right time to catch a spectacular ride until the wave dissolves back into the ocean.
So, what does that have to do with The Gap?
Getting into the Gap sets you up for Divine Timing in your life. The Gap is that silent space between thoughts. It’s the space and time where the mind stands still, where no thoughts exist. Spiritual teachers and meditation masters tell us to not simply recognize the Gap but be IN It.
And we do that through meditation. I like how Dr. Wayne Dyer describes it:
“The paramount reason for daily meditation is to get into the Gap between our thoughts and make conscious contact with the creative energy of life itself, to make conscious contact with God, which the ancient masters have told us about.
“You have the potential to be an instrument of the highest good for all concerned and to be a literal miracle worker in your own life. No person, government, entity, or religious group can legitimately claim to do this for you. In fact, I agree with Carl Jung, who said that one of the functions of formalized religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God.”
In just a few minutes I’ll share with you my first experience of recognizing I was in the Gap. But first, let me set up the process I’ve been using.
It’s really very simple. You can create Gaps in your thoughts through breath meditation. You may have heard of the 4, 7, 8 which means inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. I first heard that while doing Naam Yoga with Dr. Nicole. And when I did that in my own meditations, there was something that can only be described as hitting the “pause” button.
- Create Your List of Intention(s). Settle into your meditation space. Read your list of intentions, stating them in the positive and then set them aside.
- Begin conscious breathing. Inhale for 4 beats, hold for 7 beats and exhale for 8 beats . . . As you go deeper into your breathing, slowly and deliberately repeat your mantra or affirmation 3 times. (i.e., “I cast the burden of doubt and I go free to have confidence.”)
- Chant Aum. On the 4th time, inhale for 4 beats, hold for 7 beats and as you exhale, chant “Aum” for 8 beats and gently PAUSE for a couple of beats at the end of that chant. That PAUSE is the Gap.
- Create an Image of your Intention(s). When you’re comfortable with the rhythm of the conscious breathing, you’re ready to state your intention(s) in the Gap, something relevant to your mantra. If it’s about money, state how much you want. “I want $5,000 this month”. If it’s sadness around a situation, state how you WANT to feel. “I want to feel happiness and peace around my son moving out of state for college.” Then create an image of you in living color, as you smile and wave and send loving blessings to your son as he drives away.
- Introduce the Image of your Intention. When you’re IN the Gap, there’s no thought, there’s no intention, but as you come out of the Gap at the END of “Aum” before you begin your next inhale, silently introduce the image of your intention. Repeat this as many times as you want, with as many intentions as you like.
Make no mistake at any given time, you are at the perfect place in your life . . . and our nature is to grow, becoming more of what we came here to be, sometimes I call it becoming the best version of yourself.
And I believe the shortest path between who we are and who we WANT to be is in that Gap during meditation.
When you get into that Gap, I know you’ll want to spend more time in it, but for manifesting, a few seconds at a time is fine. Gradually, as you continue the meditation, the Gaps will lengthen themselves, organically and without any effort on your part. More importantly than the length of the Gaps, is the number of times you get in the Gap, so that you have more space between your activities and thoughts during the day.
I was in Mexico as a guest of Carol and Ditoh just a two iron from the pristine beach on the Sea of Cortez. I needed that time to escape from my impending divorce, the constant thoughts of how to move CUL forward, and the impending pandemic, just a lot of “stuff” going on.
I don’t ever remember doing anything that selfish before, but my heart and my mind needed the break. I wanted to be alone and Carol and Ditoh were wonderful about that.
So, late one afternoon, I shut down my computer, I walked down to the deserted beach and settled in to meditate. The weather was perfect.
There was silence all around. Except for the sounds of the waves crashing into the shore. My mind was troubled and I desperately needed that suspension of time and space.
I sat down on my towel and gazed out at the ocean until my eyes gently closed with the hypnotic rhythm of the waves. I began conscious breathing and soon I found myself drifting in and out of consciousness. I hadn’t really set an intention, it was just peace I needed. So I continued breathing. In and out.
I tuned into the sounds of the ebb and flow of the waves crashing on the shore. Slowly, I felt my breath and my body flowing in rhythm with the ocean and and then, it happened.
As a new wave filled my mind and receded back into the ocean I waited for the next sound to come with the next way, but it didn’t come. Instead, there was only silence. I didn’t want it to end, I didn’t even want to breath because I was afraid I would break the spell of this magical moment.. . . . I’m sure it was just seconds, but it felt like an eternity.
The sound of the next wave came. And it was over.
I want more than anything for each of you to experience that. And whether you do or don’t, know that you are perfect just as you are, you are the perfect expression of the Universal God and you are loved unconditionally here.